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And now, our yearly custom continues…

 

[dimming lights]

[queuing up sexy saxophone music]

[adjusting Speedo]

 

Hey, Bebeh.

How YOU doin’?

 

Right this moment is Ken Day, bebeh doll, and meaning I am right here to make all of your attractive, attractive goals come true.

Besides possibly that one.  

(By no means once more, Cancun.  NEVER AGAIN.)

 

That is proper, my sprinkle-coated sugar dumpling, I’m about to rock your world … by dealing you a hand of Blackjack:

Or, wait… this can be a scorching tub? Oh. Okay. EVEN BETTER. Mrowr.

 

Now, slide that candy little character of yours over right here, and have an infinite glass of ketchup:

I warmed up this aspect of the concrete slab only for you. [eyebrow waggle]

 

What’s improper, my tangy berry candy tart? Is the concrete to not your liking? 

Maybe you’d desire some Satin Ice* sheets?

I do not lounge this casually for simply anybody, you already know. Largely as a result of I lack articulated elbows.

(*That one’s for you, decorators.)


These boxers are actually confining, although, my delicious fondant-wrapped cheesecake chunk.

Right here, let me slip into one thing just a little extra comfy:

You possibly can’t see it, however I am completely flexing for you proper now. Unnng.

Ahh, I can inform by your dismayed expression that you just’re considering EXACTLY what I am considering, my honey-drenched pudding pop: this DOES cowl up too a lot of my “finer belongings.” [wink] Nicely, do not you are concerned. I can repair that.

[grunting]

[squelching noises]

Okay, my candy-coated cake pop! Put together to satisfy … THE LOINCLOTH OF LOVE:

Take me away, officer; I give up to YOUR SEXINESS. 

 

Oh, and I ought to warn you: objects within the rear view are a lot hotter than they seem.

[jiggle jiggle]

 

Because of Sara O., Sanne V., Mary Ann B., Frank M., Laura S., Renee D., & Lauri M. for serving to me retroactively destroy lots of people’s childhoods.

*****

A couple of years in the past, after John and I first printed this put up, we acquired an e-mail from readers Charity and Royce. That e-mail contained an audio file. An audio file that, as soon as performed, would change our lives without end.

Or at the very least make us snort like hyenas for a superb 5 minutes.

So right this moment, on your wrecking pleasure, we current that audio, mixed with our authentic visuals. Flip up the quantity, and ENJOY.


Observe from john (thoJ): Once I was making this video, I pitched down Royce’s voice only a bit for sexiness. Once I confirmed Jen, she requested if I might pitch it method UP. The result’s, if potential, much more hysterical.

So I current to you… The chipmunk model!

******

Only one thing more, my piping scorching pile of Swiss meringue buttercream: I discovered the right attractive lingerie on your personal Stud Puffin:

Lazy Ones Novelty Boxers

PUNNY ONES. There 10 pun-tastic designs to select from, click on over to see the remaining. Additionally head’s up: the critiques say these run huge, so possibly measurement down.

*****

And from my different weblog, Epbot:

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